Look, I've tried everything to enjoy golf more.
New clubs? Check.
Lessons? Obviously.
Breathing exercises? (Don't judge me.)
Transfusions... lots of transfusions.
But last month, I discovered something that changed everything...
It Started As A Joke
"Try these," my buddy Mike said, tossing me a pack of Players Blend gummies before our Sunday round.
I laughed. "Dude, I'm trying to break 90, not start understanding what these squirrels are really talking about out here."
But then he showed me the Golf Digest article. (Yeah, that one. Where they actually tested this stuff.)
I was skeptical, but peer pressure. Here's what I discovered: I didn't play worse, and I REALLY enjoyed my afternoon.
Here's the Play by Play
1st Hole: Just golf as usual. Pushed my drive right. Cursed under my breath. The usual.
4th Hole: Starting to wonder if Mike gave me a placebo. Still just regular old golf.
7th Hole: Oh. OH. First time I noticed how impossibly green the grass looked. And golf... has a smell?
8th Hole: My inner monologue switched to Verne Lundquist.
10th Hole: "Oh my goodness... what a delightful Hebrew National we're watching here at the turn. And folks, getting another one to go. The confidence of youth."
13th Hole: I AM DIALED. Nearly jarred it from 103 yards. Had that Rory bounce in my step.
"But WAIT... oh my... a three-putt from four and a half feet. The cruelty of this game, ladies and gentlemen."
15th Hole: Had the deepest conversation with Mike in our 13 years of friendship. We wept together, briefly.
17th Hole: Walked in a 30-footer. Nanananananana.
Shot a 92.
Not tour quality, but honestly? Pretty solid.
And for once, I didn't spend the whole round obsessing over my score.
And the best part?
Actually remembered every shot
Didn't spend $68 on beers
Wasn't hungover at 9pm
And finally just enjoyed the walk
Here's What Really Matters
They're perfectly legal (hemp-derived) and precisely dosed (2mg THC), so you're not going to space out or lose your game. Plus, they added caffeine and some fancy focus ingredients I can't pronounce.
But here's the truth:
Everything just feels... lighter
Bad shots roll off your back
You play loose, relaxed golf (the kind you always say you're going to play)
Your body stays chill (goodbye, first tee jitters)
And you might just have the best conversation of your life with your golf buddy
Look, you might not suddenly become Viktor Hovland. But you're going to have the most stress-free round of your life – and probably play better because of it.
Ready to Actually Enjoy Golf?
P.S. Your slice might still be there. But trust me – you won't mind nearly as much.
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